Ch. 12 Media Illustration - The Family Cycle

For my media illustration I will be talking about the seven stages in the family cycle. The first stage is establishing a family. This occurs when a couple decides to settle down, either as a married couple or cohabitants, and work out expectations and a daily routine. They get accustomed to living with one another and may decide to have kids.
The next stage is enlarging a family, which is the addition of children. Children become the primary focus of parents' conversations and lives, and they usually have to schedule around them.
The third stage is developing a family. This is part of the process of raising kids. Mothers tend to communicate with their children more in this stage, while fathers tend to talk with their daughters more but engage in activities with their sons. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_Fxvp4RZ4U In this clip from Boy Meets World, Cory vents his frustration about his relationship with his father, whom is brother shares a more common relationship with by doing activities.
In the fourth stage, parents encourage independence. This is when children seek to establish their own identities and learn to become less dependent on their families. It is an essential part to becoming an adult, which is why parents should encourage independence in this stage. 
The fifth stage involves launching children. This is when they leave home to live on their own, either going to college, getting married, or just getting their own place.
The next stage is the post-launching of children, and usually occurs when all the children have left home to be on their own. Partners may have to redefine their marriage and relearn how to be together without having kids around. Some couples have grown so afar apart they decide to divorce. Others experience a renewed love in which they finally have a chance to spend a lot of time together without the hassle of raising their kids.
The final stage in the family cycle is retirement, and it offers people a chance to do what they want to do without having to focus on earning a living. Some people get bored and want to do more activities. The family may grow again in this stage with the addition of grandchildren. The trailer for "The Bucket List" shows an example of how two men might spend retirement: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOuQwKy8t78.


References:
Wood, Julia T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. Boston, MA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.

Chapter 12: Media Illustration Satisfaction Long-Term Commitment

Relationships take a lot of work and a major part that influences the satisfaction of the relationship are words, thoughts, and emotions. These aspects are all very fluid and interconnected.

            Words reflect how partners talk and behave toward each other as Wood (2012) describes. In communicating this way it can affect the partner’s self-esteem and overall feeling about this relationship. Words can be used in positive or negative ways. If one is happy with the relationship support, interest, agreement, and understanding can be communicated.  Although, if one is not happy with the relationship words are used for criticism, negative statements, mind reading, and selfish communication. This is demonstrated on Friends through a fight between Chandler, Ross, and Monica. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5qzGhKOurc  They are discussing secrets but one is always trying to one up the other, the same way in that couples fight. Wood suggests that when a fight that starts building on negative characteristics occurs to take the negative comments and use them to build a healthy positive interaction, where issues can be discussed and forgiveness can be given. The act of forgiving is very healthy for a relationship, allows for health to be restored.

            The thoughts that we think addresses that we think about each other and the marriage. These thoughts are shaped by our words and emotions. The thoughts will differ depending on if the relationship is satisfying or not. When a relationship is satisfying the thoughts are usually positive. The things that are positive are attributed to their internal behaviors and the negative behaviors are attributed to external factors. This is demonstrated in the clip of the movie He’s Just Not That Into You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajQeSp2hGTI. This demonstrates the positive attributes that a woman, or her friends, will give a man that she likes when he doesn’t continue to pursue her. The characteristics are reversed when the relationship is not satisfying, the negative things are attributed to their internal behavior and the positive things are attributed to external factors.

            Emotions are the final factor to satisfaction in relationships. They are affected by words and thoughts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNZ5NXKtdxs&feature=related  A great example is shown in Pride and Prejudice as you can see the words that each character are saying somewhat contradict what one is thinking and feeling but yet they are using the thought process of continuing to try and one up each other. Emotions can be shaped with what we say to others and how they respond, as well as communicating to ourselves through self-talk. An example of this is demonstrated through when a woman receives flowers from her partner. She will feel much closer to her partner if she feels her partner bought them out of thoughtfulness and caring instead of that they were on sale.

            As you understand each aspect it shows that every factor is intertwined with each other. One just automatically flows into another. The couple type will determine how the factors work together and the satisfaction they will receive from it.          

                     

                                                                      References

Wood, J. T. (2010). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. (7th ed., p 308-309). Boston, MA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

Ch. 12 Post-launching of Children

            Stage 6 of Wood’s Family Life Cycle has to do with the Post-launching of children, or the time when all of a couple’s children have left home and have begun to live independently. This stage follows the launching of children, and it is usually the first time in years that a couple finally has a chance to be together again without having to take care of their kids. Wood states that for them this time is like “a second honeymoon” (Wood, 2012). It can be a blessing, but it can also be a curse as some couples “have to relearn how to be together with just each other and how to enjoy activities that don’t involve their children” (Wood, 2012, p. 314).

            As the youngest of five, my parents hit stage 6 of the Family Life Cycle 4 years ago when they sent me off to college. Although they had launched my other 4 siblings off to college as well, this would be the first time in over 20 years that they would have no kids at home. It had to be a pretty crazy transition, but it definitely seems to be a blessing for them. They spend more time together, still talk to all of their kids regularly, and they frequently travel for various occasions or vacations. Having a couple little dogs at home that my Mom treats like kids probably also helps. 

            I’m glad the post-launching stage in my parents’ life has worked out so well for them. They have good communication between them and between us kids, and I also know that they love each other very much. I plan on explaining what I have learned about the Family Life Cycle to them and show them how well they are doing in their particular stage.

References:
Wood, Julia T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. Boston, MA: Wadsworth.

Chapter 12 Media Illustration - Diverse forms of families

Diversity within the Family

Heterosexual

Homosexual

-Only 6 states allow legal same sex marriage. Others vary in same sex adopting laws

Single

      

Full House: funny moments  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvNFi5Qncn4&feature=related)

Statistics

ž  1/3 of adults in the US have never married

ž  The number of unmarried people in the US has doubled in the past 25 years

ž  Half of Americans between 25-29 are unmarried

ž  40% of births in America are to unmarried parents

ž  By age 35, 10% of American women have lived with 3 or more husbands or partners

¡  This shows that commitments don’t necessarily last

Blended Families pertain to fulfilling family lives

The Brady Bunch: A Lot of Work (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qssAVlKATaU)

Chpt 12 Media Illustration - Paths of Commitment

The first video clip that I used is the trailer for Cinderella. Cinderella follows follows the Rapid Escalation path that Wood mentions in that they meet one fateful night and pretty much everything is happily ever after from there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqSEbALYno

The second video clip that I used is the trailer for the movie It's Kind of a Funny Story. The movie is a good example of the Medium-Length Courtship path in that in the movie, Craig goes to the hospital to seek help after contemplating suicide. During his stay at the hospital, he meets Noelle and they soon start seeing each other. As the movie goes on, they get to know each other better and their relationship grows stronger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_pq7HKc9z8

The reason that I used movie trailers is that they provide a nice and quick overview of the relationship from the start to the end.

References 

Wood, J. T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. Boston, MA: Wadsworth

Chapter 12: Launching/Post Launching Children

              Everyone grows up and as we age there is this inward desire to become independent. This is fostered in high school but the forced independence comes during college. As children begin college they are usually forced away from their parents and are given opportunities to begin their own life. Wood discusses  this in the Family Life Cycle, step 5 and 6, and how it really affects the parents as the children begin to become more independent. Launching is a vital change for most families, describes Wood (2012). It can really show the parents that they are a couple again, which can be an abrupt change.

            This is very true with my parents. I am the baby of the family, so I have been able to watch the launch process twice as they dropped my older brothers off at college. I was also able to experience it as they dropped me off at UNL.I know that it has been different for them now that they do not have kids at home. It is a huge adjustment schedule wise, as well as who they really talk to in town. Now they are beginning to move into the post launching phase described by Wood. They are adjusting to it but I think they are on the positive outlook from what Wood described as renewed love. They now are taking more trips together and are able to spend more time doing shared activities. Although this has caused some frustrations, it is majorly for the good of their relationship.

            This concept that Wood described really helped me capture in words what my parents are experiencing. I did know of this train of thought earlier, as I was able to listen and talk to mom about it. I hope to be able to communicate to my parents effectively and become more sensitive to when certain issues arise instead of brushing them off, as they are important for their stage of life. Understanding can be a hard for the children, as they are enjoying time away from their parents and don’t understand what an adjustment parents are making. Communication between the children and parents will be key in understanding each other’s feelings and how to best make the adjust for each relationship to remain strong and healthy.

References:

Wood, J. T. (2010). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. (7th ed., p 314-

            315). Boston, MA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

CAB #5 - Chapter 12: Dont Sweat the Small stop

Communication within families is the type of topic that you can talk for days and days about and still not fully understand. Just like any other facet of communication a variety of problems can arise out of the differences between communicators. Wood (2012) lists four different suggestions to help us get along with our disgruntled lovers, insane siblings, and crazy in-laws.  After looking through Wood’s list “don’t sweat the small stuff” seemed to make a lot of sense in general, and specifically in my life.  As she says we don’t want to “make mountains out of molehills” (Wood, 2012, p. 319).

 One example stuck out in my mind when I started writing this blog: the universal argument about leaving the toilet seat up! I can think of easily a hundred instances when I could hear my mom yelling at my dad, my brothers, and I for not putting the seat down after using the restroom. Us men considered, and still to this day believe that this is a very minor issue, a molehill if you will. My mom on the other hand insisted on turning it into a mountain of a problem within the family. The innocent leaving of a toilet seat turned into a week of the silent treatment, numerous scowling looks, and a lot of built up tension in the family.  

If my family was to take into consideration what Wood has to say about not sweating the small stuff our household could be a lot less stress free. Wood (2012) suggests to “take responsibility for our perceptions and our responses to them.” (p. 319).  We need to take our focus off of the negative things that each other is doing and control how we act when things we don’t like happen. We can also “monitor the self-serving attribution that may lead us to overestimate our good qualities and behaviors and underestimate those of our partner” (Wood, p. 320). If we all can remember that all of us make mistakes and that we all have faults the little things, like leaving the toilet seat up, won’t become such a mountain of a problem.