Exit
Response by Hana Mustafa
I
chose the exit response to discuss this time.
Woods describes it as walking abruptly away or psychologically
withdrawing from conflict (Wood, 2013, p. 231) . People who see conflict as a lose-lose
situation see no benefit to argument so they prefer to avoid it. This is
why this response can also be labeled avoidance due to a fear of failure or
personal safety (Shirey, 2012) .
As
far as conflict goes I tend to choose the exit response to deal with it. The
specific example that comes to mind are really the fights in general I had my
ex Sebastian. He is type to always overtly express himself. One particular
situation comes to mind when Sebastian was telling me about one of his
hair-brained schemes and that since he was obviously a man he could handle it.
I definitely disagreed with his proclamation that he was a man given the
immature nature he acted in on a regular basis.
I found it hard to see him as a grown man when
my definition of a man is someone who takes care of their responsibilities and
thinks about people other than himself, and he definitely did none of those
things.
Knowing him and his quick temper
I wasn’t about to say what I was thinking so I said nothing at all but
apparently my nonverbal communication said it all because he blew up at me for
not believing him because I rolled my eyes. Not only did he yell but was wildly
gesturing to put emphasis on his anger.
This
concept is very useful to my everyday life because it points out what I didn’t
even realize I was doing. I know I don’t like conflict but I hadn’t really
realized that I was psychologically checking out of certain conflict situations.
I do tend to see conflict as a lose-lose
situation in general and especially whenever I was in an argument with
Sebastian. Knowing this now will make me take a step back and think about my
reactions when in an argument with someone to see if they are truly appropriate
for the situation.
References
Shirey, W. (2012, June 26). Five Major Types of
Responses to Conflict. Retrieved from eHow:
http://www.ehow.com/list_6850496_five-major-types-responses-conflict.html
Wood, J. T. (2013). Responses to Conflict. In J. T. Wood, Interpersonal
Communication:Everyday Encounters (p. 231). Boston, MA: Wadsworth.
It is good to hear that you are recognizing some faults with how you handle conflict and that you are attempting to improve your response. However, even if you were able to handle the situation perfectly and have a great response, it sounds like Sebastian would have to make some big improvements in how he handles conflict.
ReplyDeleteWhen any of us are in conflict we need to be aware of what our nonverbal is doing. Like in you situation it said everything and probably more because the worst is assumed when checking out of the situation. I have had some experiences were I did not think that they knew I check out of the conversation until I was called on it. The argument just gets worse from there.
ReplyDelete