CJ Zimmerer
Chapter
10: Friendships in Our Lives: Internal Tensions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOH0tRUqh1k
--- Friends --- :00 – 3:00
This
clip from the TV show Friends is a great illustration of relational dialectics
that Wood (2012) talks about in her
chapter on friendships, and more specifically the internal tensions that can be
present within friendships. In the clip
Jennifer Anniston is longing for a greater connection, a deeper, more
meaningful connection to her friend that is played by Bruce Willis. This seems
normal for any person, but the problem is Bruce is not on the same level as
Jennifer. Bruce is giving literal, in the moment answers, not the information
filled ones that she is hinting at. She is clearly trying to get him to open up
and let her in but he is not catching the subtle cues she is giving.
Another
type of internal tension that Wood (2012) explains is the presence of sexual
attraction in a friendship and how it can lead to various problems and
questions between the two people in the friendship. You don’t have to look far
in Hollywood for examples of movies that touch on this subject. Movies like “Just Friends” follow two people who have been friends for
years and years and details the issues that arise when one or both of them
decide they are sexually attracted or even just emotionally interested in
pursuing the other in an intimate relationship. Another great example is “My
Best Friend’s Wedding.” Here the two best friends go on a roller coaster ride
of falling in love, falling out of love, and almost destroying a wedding
because they can’t figure out if they should be friends or more than friends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF9G4NSJAJ0&feature=fvwrel
--- 40 Year Old Virgin :00 – 1:33
A
third internal pressure talked about by Wood (2012) is when diverse
communication styles clash between friends. Wood (2012) gives an example of a
European – American feeling hurt because they were turned down by an
African-American friend for a concert invite because she had family problems to
attend to. Because the two have different cultural backgrounds one side fails
to understand the importance of family of the other. To illustrate this type of
tension I found a clip from “40 Year Old Virgin.” In the clip one
African-American man comes to another African-American man for a deal at the
electronics store. While the man who works there tries to keep a professional
attitude and language the other is cussing and using slang to try and
communicate. Even though these two are from the same upbringing and same race
the diverse communication styles are shown because one is using “street
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