CAB
5- Respect and consideration
In chapter 12, Wood gives guidelines for effective
communication in families. The guideline
that caught my eye was “Show respect and consideration.” Wood (2012) states, “For families to remain
healthy and satisfying, family members need to demonstrate continuously that
they value and respect each other” (p. 318).
Wood is not talking about a super out-there theory about intricate
family interactions or complex behavioral theories; she is merely saying that
you should be nice to the members of your family, and that many conflicts could
be avoided by treating each other with more respect and courtesy.
This seems like common sense, but as I was reading I
started thinking of times when I seemed to respect others more than my family,
specifically with how I have treated my parents. I remember many days when I would come home
exhausted from practice or work, and I would snap at my parents or be short or
irritable with them, even though I was equally as stressed at school and was
polite and respectful to teachers and coaches.
I had many teenager moments where I would start arguments with my
parents and not understand why they were on my case so badly. Being the oldest child, I did the same thing
with my brother and sisters too. It was probably even harder on them since they
did not feel that they had the authority to argue with me like my parents did.
After taking a break from living with my family and
going to college, I have a new perspective when I go home and visit. I really miss my family, and it seems easier
for me to treat everyone kindly. I also
notice more ways that my siblings are rude to my parents and to each other, and
how they sometimes start fights over really minute things. I believe what Wood says, and I think that if
everyone in my family treated each other a little nicer, they would not act so
defensive at times, and a lot of conflicts would be avoided. I also believe that this behavior is just
part of growing up, and as in my case, it can be outgrown as we mature.
References
Wood,
J.T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters (7th
ed). Boston, MA:
Wadsworth.
I love it...you and I seem alot alike Garrett. I think i did just what you are talking about literally everyday the first few years of high school. I totatlly agree with how my perspective has changed since i have gone off to Lincoln as well. It stinks it had to be that way, and that we had to be that way to our families, but at least we finally learned...even if it took 5 years...
ReplyDeleteI didn't have siblings to fight with when I was growing up and since it was just my mom and me living together after she and my step-dad divorced, we had to rely on each other more. We ended up not fighting much as a result, but I definitely had my 'teenager' moments with her as well. I wonder what your parents thought when you came home tired and irritable from practices, school, or work. Because they're the parents in the situation they probably understood where you were coming from and attributed your moods to external factors, but what would your siblings have been thinking?
ReplyDeleteI am with you Lauren. I do have a brother but he is well older than me and moved out before I got to junior high. My mother has a unique ability to make me not want to start arguing with her. No matter how mad I was at her, I just couldn't bring myself to it. My dad was the same way, I don't really remember arguing with him. He taught me many life lessons living in Houston, TX, things I would never learn in Nebraska. I would say that we had high level of mutual respect.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to your post. I'm amazed that my parents were able to put up with me and wanted to work on building a strong relationship with me. It's not easy being a teenager, let alone being the parents of teenagers. Very insightful post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your participation in class and on the blog. Have a great summer!