Chapter 12 Goals

 

Families are extremely diverse within many categories whether it is their race, ethnicity, culture, sexual orientation, interests, etc. Another aspect they differ in is their goals, or the reasons that people want to be involved in long-term relationships (Wood 2012, p. 301). These goals have changed over time. In ancient Greek time, marriage was for a purpose of producing offspring whereas now in the US, society has changed their perspective on marriage with it not being focused on raising children as a part of marriage. There is still a good bulk of people whom may get married but choose not to have children today. Women in particular are becoming more independent by getting into the workforce and establishing their own life without relying on a husband.

                

I have witnessed these changed marriage goals among the patients I have had at Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital. For one example, I have had a female patient where the husband explained to me that he had only worked part-time so that he could spend most of his time at home with their two kids and so that there would be a meal ready when his wife got off of her full-time job. To me that seemed like a non-normative thing for the husband to be part stay at home. It seems as though this is taking place more often than I realize.  As Wood describes, men are less dependent on women to take care of children, cook meals, wash dishes and clothes, and otherwise maintain a home (Wood 2012, p. 302). 

                                     

My boyfriend is really for women in the workforce but he hasn’t quite understood that if I am being independent with a full-time job then he also has to pitch in with the housework because it is my belief that that should be equal as well. That of course is not normal to him because he was raised by a mother who worked full-time and did all of the cleaning and cooking at home. 

It is interesting to hear the women’s perspective on getting into the workforce. Many have claimed that they would be too bored being a stay at home mother. I plan to conform with today’s society by working full-time. I suppose it is not the norm that I do not know how to cook, so that is something I certainly need to work on (I’m hopeless!).  Nonetheless, the goals among marriage have certainly changed.  Something to look for in the future would be the goals of marriage among those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, etc. These sexual orientation categories are becoming more familiar within the United States while at the same time more accepting by many. I personally need to work on what my goals for marriage might be. I am in no hurry to get married like several of my friends. I believe that many of my friends see marriage so that they have someone they can be with at all times. With my parents divorced, I have seen the negatives of marriage. I plan to be married to someone whom I love and trust and can have a companion for finances, owning a house, vehicles, etc with children coming down the road.

A good media example that I can think of is Modern Family. On this show there is a gay couple and one of them is a stay at home dad while the other is a full-time lawyer. It is interesting to see their perspectives on goals for marriage while correlating chore duties and raising their daughter. About 50 seconds in, Mitch and Cam discuss the role of being a mother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mh4eXrQ34U 

Reference:

Wood, J. T. (2010). Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Wadsworth.