Sunday, July 1, 2012

CAB #5 - Chapter 12: Dont Sweat the Small stop


Communication within families is the type of topic that you can talk for days and days about and still not fully understand. Just like any other facet of communication a variety of problems can arise out of the differences between communicators. Wood (2012) lists four different suggestions to help us get along with our disgruntled lovers, insane siblings, and crazy in-laws.  After looking through Wood’s list “don’t sweat the small stuff” seemed to make a lot of sense in general, and specifically in my life.  As she says we don’t want to “make mountains out of molehills” (Wood, 2012, p. 319).

 One example stuck out in my mind when I started writing this blog: the universal argument about leaving the toilet seat up! I can think of easily a hundred instances when I could hear my mom yelling at my dad, my brothers, and I for not putting the seat down after using the restroom. Us men considered, and still to this day believe that this is a very minor issue, a molehill if you will. My mom on the other hand insisted on turning it into a mountain of a problem within the family. The innocent leaving of a toilet seat turned into a week of the silent treatment, numerous scowling looks, and a lot of built up tension in the family.  

If my family was to take into consideration what Wood has to say about not sweating the small stuff our household could be a lot less stress free. Wood (2012) suggests to “take responsibility for our perceptions and our responses to them.” (p. 319).  We need to take our focus off of the negative things that each other is doing and control how we act when things we don’t like happen. We can also “monitor the self-serving attribution that may lead us to overestimate our good qualities and behaviors and underestimate those of our partner” (Wood, p. 320). If we all can remember that all of us make mistakes and that we all have faults the little things, like leaving the toilet seat up, won’t become such a mountain of a problem.


5 comments:

  1. CJ this is a great example of not sweating the small stuff. I feel like this is a problem that will never truly be solved, so more emphasis really won't result in any success. Although, as long as no one falls in, I feel like the world will be ok.

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  2. I laughed at the irony of your title to this post. The fact that you put don't sweat the small 'stop' is what got to me... Did you do that on purpose? The grammar nazi in me wanted to reach out and correct it, but then I realized I was sweating the small stuff. Something we should all consider when we see ourselves or others getting really nit-picky on small details that don't really matter is whether or not complaining about them is worth the tension. Most of the time it isn't, but we rarely stop and think that way, do we?

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  3. Oh my I could understand why your mom was mad if she was constantly falling in the toilet. Its true that she could've taken Wood's advice about not sweating it but at the same time if you men of the house engaged in dual perspective you might have more sympathy for her.

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  4. This is a great example of a small thing that causes conflict. Along with dual perspective, we could follow Wood's advice in being respectful and showing consideration. I am a guy and totally understanding when it comes to not putting the seat down, but it wouldn't hurt to be considerate and to do the moms a favor once in a while.

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  5. Ha! Liked the mountain out of a molehill reference, but I have to side with your mom regarding the toilet seat. Fortunately for me it's a battle I win in my house, maybe that's Caleb not sweating the small stuff.

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