I found the section on navigation
most interesting and relevant to me within Chapter 11. Navigation is the
ongoing process of staying committed and living a life together despite ups and
downs, and pleasant and unpleasant surprises (Wood 2012, p. 283). All long-term relationships have navigation
among them, including those relationships with your parents, siblings,
co-workers, romantic partner, you may even include your pet in the list. I am
going to focus on the context of navigation to a romantic partner and the rules
and rituals that are performed in relational culture.
Couples develop rules about
communication. The rules in my relationship with my boyfriend are usually
unspoken. For example, whoever wakes up first generally gives the other a call
or text and the same goes with saying good night in the evening. There are also
rules within holidays. Because my family is not big on holidays besides Christmas,
he knows that I will attend all of his family holiday functions. At the family
gathering, there are undisclosed rules within how we interact and whom we speak
with and the topics of communication. Most often, we sit next to each other and
discuss our lives of school, work, and extra-curricular activities.
Navigation also puts an emphasis on
everyday interaction. This is important as an interpersonal level and is often
overlooked until you are not together everyday. I am currently going through
this with my boyfriend. He is gone for 4 weeks for a military training course.
We have absolutely no communication while he is away. I did not realize just
how much we shared the little things within everyday interaction. Even if it is
sharing small talk and the details throughout my day, that is now missing.
Fortunately my best friend has stepped in and communicates with me frequently
so I am thankful for my outside social support.
I have gained much insight within
the knowledge of navigation. Of course the overall goal involves keeping the
intimacy healthy and talking out any issues that arise. Throughout the
navigation in the relationship, partners will continually experience tension
(Wood 2012, p. 283). To make a
relationship satisfying each partner needs to agree on how to deal with the
tension. Though that is easier said than done, I feel like my boyfriend and I
have formed a way of talking through the tension so that we at least end up on
the same page if not being able to agree on a solution. It is difficult for me
to work on the navigation process while he is away at training. The training
will be a continuous cycle throughout the following years so I just need to
adapt my lifestyle into his military lifestyle and talk through any other
problems that would arise.
Wood,
J. T. (2010). Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (7th ed.).
Boston, MA: Wadsworth.
Dating somebody that is in the military is never easy. Anyone who tells you this is a lier. Communication is more important than in other non-military relationships. It sound like you two have a close connection to one another and this will help. Military relationships can be the longest lasting because of the amount couples have to go through and work. If they are worth the work, it will work out. Patience is the key. :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't dated in about three years now,so looking at these situations with you is like interpreting another language! I agree with the healthy behaviors necessary for keeping a strong relationship alive, and I cannot imagine putting forth the commitment you are in order to maintain a relationship at a distance with those kinds of risk. Cheers to you! :)
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who was going through the same thing. She was so happy to get to go down south and attend the graduation. Now she periodically gets to talk on the phone with him for around 15 minutes at 4 something am. It would be very difficult, but I agree with Andrew in that if they are worth it, it will work out
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. I have really enjoyed reading your blogs throughout the course.
ReplyDelete