CAB #4- Sometimes Practicality is Overrated

Sometimes Practicality is Overrated

            Normally I’m a very logical, cautious, and practical person. I don’t necessarily ruminate over every single detail in every situation I find myself in, but I like to consider all the angles before I make any decisions. After I’ve done that I choose whatever option makes the most sense to me, and I only rarely ever deviate from this path. Not surprisingly, I identify strongly with our textbook’s definition of the secondary, practical style of love called ‘pragma,’ in which “lovers have clear criteria for partners… aren’t necessarily unfeeling or unloving… Practical considerations are the foundation of enduring commitment, so these must be satisfied before they allow themselves to fall in love” (Wood, 2012, p. 277). Things like distance, religious affiliation, career path, family and personal backgrounds, and in my case height differences matter here. If something doesn’t compute, things just might not work out. I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and made a list of qualities and characteristics that absolutely must be present in order for me to fall in love with someone; even though the following list isn’t mine, however, there are a few lines included in it that match up with items on my ‘shopping list’ for a partner (in this case romantic).

            I was already trying to find things out about my boyfriend before I’d actually met him, subconsciously comparing attributes I saw in him to my unwritten list of must-haves to see how everything stacked up. The first thing I noticed about him was the enormous height disparity between us. Chaise is 6’7”, and I’m 5’6”. The pragmatic in me was gently telling me that element would be too awkward to navigate successfully, but let me proceed with caution. Although I hated myself for doing it, one of the first places I turned for more information about him was Facebook. After discovering he doesn’t have a profile, I turned to other alleys to gain some knowledge. As a Neihardt RA, I had access to a roster of the building; because Chaise lived in Neihardt, I decided to look him up. I promise I’m not a stalker; I’m just trying to demonstrate my need to gather the facts before I make any decisions. J I only got as far as seeing his name and hometown (which I could have gotten from looking at his door dec) before I realized how creeptastic I was being and immediately closed the roster window. I simultaneously noted that he’s from Minnesota and reflected on the fact that there were only three weeks left in the semester.

            This was the point when my pragmatic side began shouting at me that this whole situation might not be a good idea. I had a few choices to make and tons of questions boomeranging around my head. Was the height difference just too much? Would I look comically short and breakable next to him? WHY IS HE FROM MINNESOTA?! I knew this summer would become exponentially more difficult to get through if I started getting attached at that point. He was too far away; there’d be no way we’d both invest the time and effort to stay in contact over that span of distance and time. It just didn’t make sense, and the more practical thing to do would have been to let it go. Did I do that?

            Of course not J Through hand-written letters, texting, and Skype (which is an absolute God-send), Chaise and I have done a fantastic job this summer putting in equal amounts of effort to stay connected. Sometimes we’ll call each other on the way to work or classes and talk for just a few minutes to share trivial, day-to-day events and interactions we’ve had with other people. I’ll get to drive up to Minnesota in a week and a half to hang out with him and meet his family (every member of which towers over me… that’s not intimidating at all!). I’ve never been so happy at the prospect of driving for six hours straight in my life.

Works Cited

Wood, J. T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. (7 ed.). Boston, MA:       Wadsworth.