Chapter 9: Managing Conflict in Relationships

Responses to Conflict

Megan Goeden

      In chapter 9 we read about conflict and the appropriate responses to such things. We respond to conflict according to the approach that we have toward it. The book describes four responses to conflict: exit, neglect, voice, and loyalty. First I'll define these, then I'll relate to them with specific situations, and finally I'll list ways that I have gained insight to my own life from these concepts of conflict response methods. 

     The exit response involves physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing. The neglect response denies or minimizes problems, disagreements, anger, tension, or other matters that could lead to overt conflict. The loyalty response involves staying committed to a relationship despite differences. The voice response, the final response we learn this chapter, addresses conflict directly and attempts to resolve it. These responses are used in different situations to communicate appropriately (Woods 2012).

    Exit responses are commonly used by people that feel uncomfortable with conflict in general. These situations are thought to be lose-lose situations so they are avoided in any way possible. I have friends who find themselves in a conversation that becomes an argument and the first instinct is to leave the room or changing the subject. 

Below I have an example of an exit response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X2V4AyjzZk

     Neglect responses are ways of denying a problem in order to avoid it. If we do not recognize a conflict, we cannot take part in one. 

     Loyalty responses involve saying committed to a relationship despite differences. 

     The voice response addresses conflict directly and attempts to resolve it. 

     I understand from my life situations that certain responses are appropriate for creation circumstances. These situations are almost a test on our social intelligence. Those that understand and can adapt to situations are likely to use the appropriate responses. I have found that I am a very vocal responder, but there are times when I understand that being quiet or dealing with the issue without raising conflict will result with a better outcome. 

Sources:

Wood, J. T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters (7^th ed.). Independence, KY:                   Wadsworth.