Communication Application Blog-Totalizing
The
topic that caught my eye in chapter 4 was Totalizing because it is something we
all do without thinking about it. Totalizing can be defined as when we
communicate with someone in a certain way based on one label. Taking one
characteristic of someone and expanding it in your mind until it’s the only
aspect of their identity visible. According to Wood an example of this would be
when some people totalize homosexuals to be only their sexual orientation (Wood, 2013). It is not the same
as stereotyping because “When we stereotype someone, we define him or her in
terms of characteristics of a group (Wood, 2013, p. 98).”
When
I tell people that I am a single mom I am almost automatically totalized. One specific example I can remember was when I
was working at Kaw Valley Garden Center for the summer and we had just gotten
done setting up the store. We were circled around sitting on palettes basically
doing story time to get to know our co-workers. When it finally came my turn
and I told everyone about my son at home mainly to explain why my schedule wasn’t
really flexible, I got different reactions. Most of my co-workers did the
typical and got swept up by baby talk, getting chatty and happy, but Joann, a
middle aged woman who had worked at the center in previous years, did the
opposite.
She
got tight lipped, straightened her spine and got a disapproving look on her
face. From then on whenever we interacted she always had a condescending tone. It
seems like her assumption was that I had loose morals and no self-respect and
my assumptions in response were that she was a prudish country hick. It seems
pretty obvious now that she had totalized me and that to her “Young Unwed
Mother” was my only identity.
Totalizing
is a useful theory although it doesn’t necessarily account for the instances
when there is a purpose for fixing one symbol to someone, like a serial killer
and or sociopath. The theory as a whole did help me to understand the people
that judge me for my life a bit better. It definitely opens my eyes to
instances that I’ve totalized someone and will make me give a second thought to
snap judgments I make about people in the future. As a society lowering the
amount of totalizing we do here in the U.S. would make a huge difference in
communication and facilitate more communication where there were previously
road blocks.
Works Cited
Wood, J. T. (2013). Language Defines Phenomena. In J.
T. Wood, Inerpersonal Communication (p. 98). Boston: Wadsworth.
You have a great and unique perspective on the topic. I do not think that I have read anything from Wood about a single parent's point of view, and I am sure it could be applied to many of the concepts discussed in the textbook.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the woman would have totalized you if she had known more about you other than this one fact. For instance, if she knew that you have a passion for reading and have read many books, I wonder if she would be as hung up on the fact that you are a young mother.
I have many single mother friends and have heard this story a lot. Agreeing with Garrett, I assume that you talk about your son because you are proud of him. Just like mothers should be. Others do not see the pride in you talking about him. They get hung up on the single mother part, which should not be a deciding factor on how you view someone.
ReplyDeleteThey say that first impressions last the whole time that you know that person. The first impressions are based on past experiences or personal views of how a person lives a life. Does not leave much room for being open to societal change and the change in family dynamics.
Great topic. I'm glad you keyed in on the difference between totalizing and stereotyping. That's important! Excellent application. I really appreciate your perspective on this. For paragraph 3, think about how you can apply this concept to specific interpersonal interactions.
ReplyDelete