Chapter 11

Adapting Communication to Maintain Long-
Distance Relationships

By Megan Goeden

     In chapter 11 we learn about the three problems commonly found in long-distance relationships. I'll go over these obstacles and how we may overcome them. Then I'll relate a few personal situations to the topic, and finally, I'll share some insight that I've gained from learning about these problems with long-term relationships. 

     The first of our obstacles that is faced in a long-term relationship is the lack of sharing every-day events and happenings. These conversations are what weave our lives together, and without them we may lose touch or a sense of closeness in the relationship. Technology has played a large factor today in allowing relationships to connect more conveniently. Take a look at the video for a little laugh. :)
  
Technology in Long-Distance Relationships 

     Our second problem faced in long-distance relationship is an unrealistic expectation of time together. Many people feel that they must savor every moment shared as they only get so much time together, in doing so, they may have unrealistic expectations for that time and be let down or disappointed with the outcome. Couples may also find themselves in trouble with their need for autonomy and novelty. When living in a long-distance relationship, the couple may grow in their own routines and enjoy their independence and individuality. Once they are united and finally share their lives together, there is a decent chance that these adjustments will have a negative impact on each individual's sense of autonomy. 

     The third most common problem shared by couples in long-distance relationships includes an unequal effort invested by the partners. One partner may feel like they are unfairly putting for the majority of the effort needed to keep the relationship alive, and the other partner may in-turn feel guilty because of this or become bored of the relationship.

     Personally, as a college student, I have not experienced a long-distance relationship as I have somewhat refused to take part in one. I've been against the idea for a few key reasons: One, I haven't met someone that I felt I needed to be with strongly enough to work at it from a distance. Two, I feel like these years are the ones that I want to be single and without commitment for the sake of simplicity and fulfillment! And three, if someone is living a distance away, I figure that if it is supposed to work out, we'll make something happen so that we aren't living at a distance, and until then, I'm happy being single. 

      I have gained a little insight on the situation from the reading in chapter 11. Sometimes I forget how many people actually attempt long-distance relationships and how many of them are actually successful. I honestly respect those that make it work because they must have a true love that they are obviously independent enough from to enjoy their life elsewhere as the situation calls them to do. I feel like those people are very committed and patient which happen to be great qualities for any relationship!

"Distance means so little when someone means so much."

Sources:

Wood, J.T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters (7^th ed). Boston, MA:

           Wadsworth.