I was involved in covert conflict with my roommates when we first moved in together. One night, I went to the fridge to retrieve a steak I had bought earlier in the day to grill for dinner. However, when I opened the fridge, my steak was nowhere to be found. I looked through the fridge extensively before deciding on the conclusion that one of my roommates had eaten it. I asked one of them, Brian, and he replied that he indeed ate it, but only because he thought it was another one of my roommate’s food who he had suspected stole some of his food. He said he would buy me a steak the next day and I let it go. Although not a huge conflict, Brian had intentionally tried to get back at my other roommate for eating his food by doing the same thing covertly. If Brian had overtly addressed the conflict with my other roommate or me, he may have not tried to get back at him or at least wouldn’t have made the mistake of eating my food instead of his.
Covert conflict is interesting and I honestly thought my situation was pretty funny when I looked back on it. Because my roommates and I are good friends and don’t argue often, the covert strategy must have seemed like the best option to Brian to get back at my other roommate. I think now that I know more about conflict being expressed covertly, I can explain to my roommates the benefits of being more open and direct about conflict. That way, we can find a better solution and not make a mistake such as the one Brian did.
References:
Wood, Julia T. (2012). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters. Boston, MA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.
It is interesting to me that so many people display this type of passive aggression. Today in class it seemed like everyone had an example of passive aggression, especially dealing with roommates.
ReplyDeleteYea I could see getting really upset about that, pretty cool of you to have kept a level head about it. And yea overt conflict expression is definately the best way to go in a roommate situation.
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